My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize