he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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