I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
