we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
