so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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