Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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