ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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