This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
