Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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