just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
