please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
