If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize