who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think your dad took our porno
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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