"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
