i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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