My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
