This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
