It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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