i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
