CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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