I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
