Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
