So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
