Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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