dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
