there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
