Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
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Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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