shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
