you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
