i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
