called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
