I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
