No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
