And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
