why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
