Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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