Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
