Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
