he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
