You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
