There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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