Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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