i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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