In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
