don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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