I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
