I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
