ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
