We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
