Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
