but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
