if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
