Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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