yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
