Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
