I'm really into asian looking animals
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
