i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
