So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize