we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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