That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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