we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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