Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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